The photo above has nothing to do with the post, I just love
it. I was sitting behind Ben on the tractor as he steered. This is, by far,
his favorite thing in the world to do, think about and talk about.
Tonight was Miles first tball practice. He was excited
before the practice and even more so after. He went right out there and did the
drills and caught a ball in the field and hit the ball off the tee. It was
awesome to see him enjoy himself so much. In the car on the way home he said he
This afternoon we were throwing the ball back and forth and after a bit lay on the grass to rest. We watched two ants work together to carry a dead worm across the grass. It’s been a long time since I’ve gotten to lay down in the grass and at eye level to watch ants busy at work. We laid there and speculated about their plans. We made up all kinds of crazy theories and laughed out loud. I feel so lucky to have someone in my life that reminds me how entertaining it can be to lay in the grass watching ants.
Earlier this morning I walk into the garage where Miles and
Ben are playing.
Me to Miles: What'd you do? You look guilty.
Miles: What’s guilty mean?
Ben: It’s when you eat the candy all gone, and you’re in trouble, and you get a tummy ache.
Morels! Tim started hunted morels for the first time last
year. Last spring he had no luck. We would drive to a good hiking spot and he
would spend hours looking; only coming up with a few. This year walking into
the woods from our backyard he found the payload. So, tonight he’ll fry them up
and we will have them for dinner. Yum!
While their daddy was in the woods hunting mushrooms, I found the boys sitting at the trailhead waiting for him in their pajamas. They were watching and listening for him. Ben said to me, “Mommy, do you hear the wind through the trees? Shhhh (imitating the sound he hears.)” To a child that has spent his whole life in the city I think this is probably a sound he is just now becoming aware of.
He had kindergarten screening today. He cried and clutched
me when they asked the kids to come into one room, the parent’s in another. I
refused to push him. It’s so hard to know when to push and to know when not to.
I usually err on the side of not pushing. Today I didn’t push him. I went into
the room with the other kids and teachers as he clung and wept. The teachers
tried to talk him away from me. They tried to talk to me and then I began to
cry. We were a mess. Growing up is hard. Change is hard. He kept saying he was
too shy. I told him it was ok to feel shy and that most of those kids probably
felt the same way. I asked him to focus on the fun he would have and to put a
smile on his face even if he didn’t feel like smiling. That’s something I’ve
recently learned – if you put a smile on your face, it does actually make
you feel happy and more relaxed.
On the way home he said he was going to miss his preschool
and he didn’t think he’d be able to pretend to be a dog in kindergarten. I
think I know what he means. He came home and immediately made himself a dog
collar and refused to speak, communicating to me in barks and hand motions.
Then we went for a walk in the woods after it stopped raining. The blossoming
green woods were in stark contrast to the classrooms and desks we had just
left. I’ve been thinking all day about this
big change coming up in his life, trying to convince myself that this is a good
and necessary step in his development.